The Problem with Self-Pity

“Oh that my vexation were weighed, and all my calamity laid in the balances!  For then it would be heavier than the sand of the sea; therefore my words have been rash. For the arrows of the Almighty are in me; my spirit drinks their poison; the terrors of God are arrayed against me.”

Job 6:2-4

One of the hardest persons to encourage and lead to God is someone who has sunk into a place of self-pity or self-loathing.  A person filled with self-pity is really in an argument with God.  “I know Lord you said you will provide for my needs, but why have you allowed me to have money problems.  I know Lord you said you would give me peace, why am I in such conflict in my family…  I know Lord you said you would bring healing, but why Lord am I struggling with chronic pain or illness.  And the list goes on. 

When Job responds to his friend’s Eliphaz’ challenge in Job 6-7, we see in Job’s word a weariness that set in with his suffering.  “The terrors of God arrayed against me.”  (Job 6:4)   Job’s comfort is if “God would crush him and let loose his hand and cut him off.”  (Job 6:9-10)    And we see Job unleash his bitterness even at God Himself, “I will complain in the bitterness of my soul…  I loathe my life…. Leave me alone.”  (Job 7:11-15)

Who would blame a man for not feeling sorry for himself after losing all of his wealth, his family and health?  But we know when God does finally speak at the end of the book, this is not where God Himself invites Job or us.  God invites us to trust Him despite the suffering and miseries that this life at times can dish out.  Ultimately our hope God reminds us again and again in Scripture is that “the Lord is with us, He will not leave us or forsake us.  Do not fear or be dismayed.”  (Deut 31:12)

The Apostle Paul becomes an example to us when telling us in II Cor 4:8, “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed, perplexed but not driven to despair.”  How did the Apostle maintain this posture of confidence and joy?  The answer is faith in Jesus and the assurance that through Christ we have resurrection future and the power of His presence here and now to endure the suffering God allows our way.  So let us keep our eyes on Him, “the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross.”  (Heb 12:2)