The Listening Life

Most of us struggle with listening.   Whether it is sitting patiently with a friend who is going through a hard time or listening to a sermon, we are easily distracted.  Our minds are filled with many busy thoughts and we all tend to be self-consumed rather than giving our undivided attention to those around us.  But despite this struggle, the command of Scripture stands, we are to be “quick to hear and slow to speak.”  (James 1:19)    

The Apostle James is simply telling us that in our relationship with others, we are to give priority to listening and avoid the temptation to direct the conversation to our own opinions, advice and personal lives.  Yes there are times for us to give voice to those things, but our priority should be to be “quick to listen and slow to speak.” 

After Job lost all of his wealth, children and physical health, we read in Job 2:13 that three of his friends came and “sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.”    Here these friends at first appear to have the right response to a friend deeply afflicted.  Of course as the book of Job unfolds, these same friends would not refrain from offering their advice, counsel and correction, giving into the same temptation we all often face.

In Adam McHugh’s book, The Listening Life, he reminds us of two ways we can improve our listening.  First to remind ourselves that God is the best listener and that we are called to be “imitators of God.”  When the Bible tells us that one of God’s destinations for us is to be “conformed into the image of Christ,” (Romans 8:29) no doubt one of those qualities of Christ-likeness is of course to listen. 

A second way McHugh encourages us to improve our listening is to remember that “the opposite of a listening heart is not a talking heart, but a selfish heart.”  To be Christ-like means to be selfless and to learn to love as Christ loved us, “who gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice for sin.”   (Eph 5:2)   When we look at Christ’s life it was one of selfless-ness.   The cross of course was the epitome of Christ’s life. 

So let us make it our ambition to follow Christ, deny ourselves and pick up our cross daily.  When we do that we will understand and learn that when we sit with others, our first obligation is to listen to them in love, rather than give attention to my own opinions and problems.  When we do that we will be fulfilling the royal law of Christ, “to love one another.”  (James 2:8)  For the believer there is no greater call in our relationship with others.