Hurt People Hurt People

One of the centerpieces of the Bible is God’s call for us “forgive those who trespass against us.”   Implicit in this command is the idea that because we all sin, sin carries over into all relationships.  Often, the wounds we have received can lead to us wound others. 

I love Jesus’ response to Peter in Matthew 18:21-22 when Peter asked, “How many times must he forgive his brother, is seven times enough?”   Commentators note that Peter’s question was probably rooted in his annoyance and struggle with a few of the other disciples.  Jesus’ response reveals the heart of God for all of us, “No not seven times, but seventy times seven.”  In other words, God calls us to forgive those who trespass against us no matter how often they offend us or wound us. 

Our ability to forgive others is the very forgiveness of God Himself.  God in His love sent Jesus to the cross so that we may receive His forgiveness.  That is not only the basis of our salvation, but also the basis of our ability to forgive those who sin against us.   Colossians 3:12-14 puts it this way, we are to  “Put on… compassionate hearts…Bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”  

God’s forgiveness becomes the backdrop of our forgiveness of others.  We will always be tempted with bitterness in relationships if we cannot fully receive this truth.   If we fail to remember Jesus, who after being nailed to a cross said “forgive them for they know not what they do,” our tendency is to carry our wounds and hurts into those who trespass against us. 

Most of us in our extended families, churches, friendships, or even in our marriages have experienced deep conflict and sin.  These inflict such deep wounds in us that even after knowing Christ as Savior, it takes time for God to transform to forgive.  But we are willing to take an honest look inside and admit how the world can beat us up, God can deliver us from anger and bitterness, reconcile us with those who have trespassed against us, and make us peacemakers. 

All this comes when we understand the example of Jesus and by His power and example forgive those who trespass against us.  So one of the starting places for our transformation is this, God’s forgiveness of us in Christ.  That is why we are directed to pray, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  Here Christ Himself in what is called the Lord’s Prayer is linking these two things together.  Our need to be forgiven and our willingness to forgive others.